Love

I remember having a conversation with one of my children-I really don't remember if it was Rebecca or Matthew (I think Matthew) when he was about6 or 7 years old. It was a very wrong conversation- a conversation if I could take back now I would. I really don't know what I was thinking in the midst of this conversation with a 6 year old, but as I think back now- I must have wanted to teach him something about Love. At any rate somewhere in the midst of our talking he looked at me and declared his love for me. Here is where it went bad. I looked at him and proceeded to tell him, "Matthew, you don't really love me or your mommy- you are really just confusing Love with need. You need us and we meet your needs- so you think you love us. One day you won't need us any more- At that point we will find out if you Love us. "He looked up at me with tears welling up in his eyes and cried out, " I do love mommy- I do love you- Don't say I don't" He then proceeded to run to his mommy in the next room crying out, "I do love you mommy- I do- Tell Daddy- Tell him I do". Oh my stupidity- my thoughtlessness for the feelings of a little boy even in the midst of deep thoughts about the nature of Love. It is ironic in a way that in my misguided effort to teach him something about Love I was so unloving.

Well he has since recovered as best I can tell from the wound I delivered that day. In my own effort to recover I did tell him that I really did believe he loved us the best he knew how. The reassurance helped a bit and kept some hold on my original thoughts about Love.

While I regret the conversation because it was with a child who was no where near ready to hear such things- I do not back up one inch from the belief behind the statement- "When you don't need us anymore, when we ultimately become a burden, then you will discover your love for us"

I believe that is the essence of real Love- Agape Love.

It is in the truth that God has no need for us-

We are powerless to do anything for Him-

In fact we turned on Him and yet out of His Nature- His Character- His True Self-

He loves us to the point of suffering and dying so that we might have life-

the life we were made for.

He could have given up on us-

He could have turned on us-

He could have destroyed us all and simply started over, but instead-

In the Life, Suffering, Death and Resurrection of Jesus He demonstrated Love.

I do believe our needs are a blessing. My needs lead me into the beginnings of Love.

When I first met my bride to be she filled up many of my needs. I really thought I loved her- and as best I could at that point I did love her, but now, over 30 years later it is different. Infatuation with her has come and gone a thousand times, but Love has grown.

I came to Christ out of need and He has infused capacity for Real Love into my stone cold heart. I do Love You Jesus- You know I do. I hear Him say in reply,

"You Love Me Charles? Live it out- Feed My sheep- Take care of my Lambs- then My Love is made complete in you."

Lord Jesus- You know all things- You Know I need You- You know I love You as best I can here and now- Grow my Love- strengthen it in all I walk through today and evermore. Amen