Jesus? Who is that?

Quick- When you hear the name Jesus- What comes to mind? Savior? Teacher? King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Nice Man? Healer? Miracle Worker? Baby in a manger? Peacemaker? Sucker Outer of all fun? Hero? Good Shepherd? Bread of Life? Wise man? Dreamer? Holy man? Lunatic? Avenger? A man on a cross......... Friend? What picture comes to mind? What do you feel when you hear the name? Whatever it is- I venture to guess it is rooted in some deep personal experiences. Maybe in Church- Maybe in a relationship- Maybe in some tragedy- Maybe in some beauty. Whatever we feel, think of or picture when we hear that name- I will also venture to guess- Is incomplete- A very good, but only partial truth. Maybe all the truth we can handle just now.

1 John 3:2 Dear friends, now we are children of God,

and what we will be has not yet been made known.

But we know that when He appears,

we shall be like Him,

for we shall see Him as He is.

Isn't that really what a lot of this life is all about-

Coming more and more to see Him as He is-

In all His fullness-

And as we do-

Being drawn up into Him-

To be united to Him-

Spirit, Soul and Body-

Heart, Mind and Will.

Faith grows and becomes stronger by being challenged-

Is our view of Jesus-

Of God-

Being challenged just now?

It is a good thing- A great blessing- Let's lean into the challenge- He will appear- He will show Himself- He is Faithful like that. Let's look for Him in ways we may not be accustomed to. Let's take hold of all God is revealing about Himself - Even as our pictures of Him are challenged.

Lord Jesus,

Open the eyes of my heart-

Open the essence of my spirit-

To see you in all Your Glory-

And as I see You-

To be transformed more and more into Your Likeness.

Amen

I am still hopeful that part 3 of the Jet Ski adventure will happen sometime next week!

On Jet- Skis and Shared Suffering (Part One)

2003- A beautiful summer day on Lake Oconee- My sister and her husband had invited our family to their home on the lake for a day of fun and sun. There was swimming off the dock, there was eating- There was boat riding, there was eating- There was tubing, and well there was more eating- I tell you it's like a mini vacation anytime we can steal away and visit these wonderful people. The sky was blue, the sun was hot and the water had just the right tinge of coolness to bring delightful sensations of bliss as we drifted on floats off the end of the dock. Then there was the Jet-Ski. I had never ridden a jet ski before- The thought of zipping around the lake- A cool breeze in my face was....... Well........... I just had to try it. The ride was everything I imagined- There was the speed- A pure adrenaline rush- There was the sense of flying- Freedom and Danger all rolled into one-

It was a blast!

Our daughter Rebecca, who was 13 at the time- After seeing her dad cut the fool on that Jet- Ski contraption- Just had to give it a go for herself.

Didn't I do a blog before on how it was dangerous to follow Dad?

Anyway, after some brief instructions- Far too brief- She hopped on and away she went- Heading into a deep long cove- The intention was that she turn quickly back toward the main body of the lake- The turn never happened- And so she quickly dissappeared around a sharp bend in the cove. We could hear the engine of the jet-ski for only another moment or so before even that sound faded into silence. After another minute or so- Still no Rebecca- No Jet Ski sound- Nothing. How can I describe the feeling that came slowly at first- But more and more quickly washed over me in those moments.

She was gone-

My baby was gone-

Disappeared-

She should have been out of that cove by now-

Why had I ever let her- Where was she? What if.......... Panic, Fear and Dread sprang to life in my heart. Bill (my brother-in law) and I quickly jumped into his boat and began to ease back into the cove to find my lost daughter. He tried to reassure me- "The engine probably just cut out Charles" - Yes- that's what must have happened- The engine had just cut out- Rebecca would be there waiting for us around the next bend- Yes- the engine just cut out I told myself. By now every foot we crept forward in that narrowing cove- Not seeing my beautiful, precious daughter- Just made the fear grow in my gut- Like some sort of slow but powerful poison.

She had to be alright- We would find her-

She had to be alright.

Hebrews 2:14-18 (Excerpts) Since the children have flesh and blood, Jesus too shared in their humanity............ He had to be made like His brothers in every way, in order that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God............Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.

I wonder now-

If as Jesus was suffering on that agonizing cross-

He not only carried the pain of my sin-

But He also carried the Suffering of that day-

And so many other days like it-

For so much suffering humanity.

I know that somehow He was with me that day-

Not just for comfort-

But also in my very suffering-

Agonizing there with me -In me

Maybe this is the key for us in enduring those brutal times-

Somehow, to draw on the Life of Jesus-

That Life now in us-

And so somehow to live out His Trust in the Father-

Even to the point of death.

Lord Jesus,

Thank You for identifying with not only my sin, but also my pain and fear.

Thank You for living through that time with me-

Thank You for carrying me in it.

Lord God Almighty help me to always come to my Jesus for all the Life I need.

Amen

A Song

The first song I can ever remember learning went like this-

Jesus Loves me this I know-

For the Bible tells me so-

Little ones to Him belong-

They are weak-

But He is Strong-

Yes Jesus Loves me-

Yes Jesus Loves me-

Yes Jesus Loves meeeee-

For the Bible tells me so.

I sang it, having no real grasp of what it meant-

Yet..........somehow.......... it felt Good-

Jesus Loves me

It made me feel Safe-

It made me feel Valued-

It made me feel Wanted

Deep in my heart-

I believed it.

Now- years later- I still don't really grasp it-

This Love of Jesus-

Oh, my theolgy is more sophisticated-

I have some apologetics down-

I can share the 4 Spiritual Laws-

I even teach Sunday School from time to time-

But in many ways I am not sure I feel it like I did back then.........

As a Child.

Now......... as I get a bit older-

As I deal with a bit more of my own cynicism-

As I endure a little more of the pain of this world-

There is even the temptation -

From time to time-

To question His Love.

You know what I mean, don't you?

Things run through my mind like-

"If God really Loves me then why............... "

You fill in the blank.

In many ways it was easier as a child.

Jesus Loves me this I know-

For the Bible tells me so.

Mark 10:14- 16 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me....for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And He took the children in His arms, touched them and blessed them.

Lord Jesus, I pray that You might grant me the blessing of feeling Your arms around me today. Father take me back to those times when the reality of Your Love saturated me. Help me to live in it- to find my Life and Hope and Identity in Your deep deep Love.

Amen

What do you want? (Part 2)

I heard the story of a man-

He was a good man-

A hard working man-

A man who had dreams and aspirations of greatness.

He had a vision for his life- for success and acclaim and power and wealth.

And so this man set about the business of climbing the ladder of success.

He was indeed a clever and industrious man who after much toil and skill and manipulation was able to reach the top of the ladder.

He had arrived- He had achieved all he set out to do-

He was at the pinnacle of his life- The master of his domain.

As he surveyed all he had accomplished- all he had given life and energy for-

He was surprised at his own sense of discontentment and began to wonder........

Did I have my ladder against the wrong wall? This is not what I thought it would be. I have done all that I set out to do- Now What?

Oswald Chambers- My Utmost for His Highest- July 13- Paraphrase

Over and over again God has to remove our lesser desires to bring Himself into their place.

Is there some other thing I desire more than God Himself?

Is there some lesser desire I am focused on that I think will bring me the life I long for?

Do I really believe God is all of Who He says He is?

John 10:10 Jesus said, "I have come that you may have life and have it in abundance"

Father in Heaven, Give me a desire for You that is the defining desire of my life. Purify all the other lesser things- Even removing them where they need to be removed so that my life may be completely hidden within Your own. Lord, You know there are things I want- things that I believe will make me happy- Grant me those things only as they lead me deeper into Your Heart of Love and Goodness.

Matthew 6 (Excerpt) Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven......for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Lord Jesus, let my heart be consumed with You.

Holy Spirit, lead me and comfort me in all these things.

Amen

What do you want?

It usually starts with an innocent enough statement- "Hey lets go out to eat!" my wife might say. To which I reply," Sure, what do you want?" To which Julie will reply, "I don't care- you pick". Now is where the fun begins- You all know- You have been there. "What about Chinese?" "No, I had that yesterday." "Well what about Mexican?" "You know My stomach can't handle that right now." "Okay then well what do you want?" "I don't know- I guess what I was really thinking was........"

I am not sure we will ever really be able to hear God or unite to His heart and purposes as long as we have our own ends in mind.

Isn't this how we are with God so often. He comes and invite us into His enterprises and even give us some options about how we might fit into what He has going.

It' s like He is saying, Hey Charles, let's get together and do this (Whatever this is) and I come back and say Great, Lord I would love to spend some time with You, but I was thinking we might do this (Something else) instead.

Lord, why don't You join me in what I want to do?

In fact, here are my plans, would You just please bless them-

You know they are good-

You know lots of people will be helped-

Lord, why don't You just join me in what I want-

You could be a big help.

I believe what God wants for us more than anything else is that we unite to His Heart in such a way that our greatest desire become simply.............Him.

When will I reach a point in my life where all of who I am revolves around Him- Where He is my great desire?

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord

Matthew 6:33 Seek ye first the Kingdom of God

Oh, I know these verses have second parts- Promises even- but can we just forget those for a while and say along with our Lord Jesus to the Father, "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done"?

Father in Heaven, work out Your ways in my life today and tomorrow and every day. Holy Spirit, cultivate in me a desire for being united to the Great Heart of God- For being united to my Lord Jesus in all His Love and Grace and Mercy and Goodness. All Praise be to You Father in Heaven for how You are working all these things out.

Amen

Can I change my heart? (Part 2)

There is this story I have heard as part of a sermon - It goes something like this- Inside of us all there are 2 ravenous dogs- they fight all the time. The one is good and true and pure- full of Love and Mercy and Grace. The other is evil and deceitful and perverse in every way- full of anger, bitterness and pride. These dogs are at constant war inside of me- Sometimes with one winning the battle of the moment and sometimes the other. Oh, but which will win the war and in the end possess my soul? As the story goes- I am the one who decides. I utimately determine which of these 2 beasts will claim me as his own. It all comes down to this- Which one will I feed?- Which one will I nourish moment by moment- day by day? I will be claimed by the one I feed.

Phillipians 4:8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think (feed) on these things.

John 6:48-58 (Excerpts) Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life- I am the Living Bread that comes down from Heaven- Whoever feeds on this Bread - My Flesh and My Blood- will have Eternal Life- My Flesh and My Blood are Real Food-

So the one who feeds on Me will live because of Me.

So then- What will I feed on? Will it bethose things that nourish and strengthen the vile dog or will it be those things that strengthen and nourish me as a Child of the King?

Father in Heaven, I do believe I can change my heart- I do believe I can shape my soul- even lead it to the place of Life- to a place of Contentment and Hope and Love and Goodness. Thank You Lord Jesus that You have made that possible. Thank You for redemption. Thank You for food that is Real Food. Holy Spirit move my spirit today to constantly- moment by moment- take my nourishment from Jesus- to be sustained in Him.

Amen

Can I change my heart?

What have I stored up for myself? What is it that I value- that I chase after? What is it that has hold of my heart- That I spend my energy pursuing? Pleasure- Acclaim- Strength- Admiration? How about Position- Success- Power or Respect? Or is it Possessions- Youth- Money or Popularity? I have to confess I have spent no small amount of time in pursuit of these things- and I have even caught a few of them from time to time. When I did catch them there was a time of pleasure- brief as it was- always followed by,"Okay-What Now?' A good friend recently told me about the first time he took his wife fishing. Now, she wasn't especially excited about the prospect of fishing- Did I mention it was part of one of their early anniversary trips? At any rate, the lovely young bride did catch a few. My buddy went on to tell me that upon their return home his dear sweet wife promptly put a pole in the trunk of her car and began looking for fishing holes. From that point forward, it seems every time she came across a a decent looking spot she would stop the car and proceed to cast a few lines.

The story left me wondering- did she catch some fish or had fishing caught her?

I think it's kind of like that with all of us. If you take a good look at what I spend my time looking for- at what occupies my thoughts, time and energy- you will have a very good chance of knowing what has me hooked- of what has my heart.

Matthew 6:19-23 Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth.........but instead store up for yourself Treasure in Heaven.........

For where your treasure is there will your heart be also........

The eye is the lamp of the body....... if your eyes are good your whole body will be full of light........if not, you will be full of darkness.

I wonder then if maybe I can lead my heart by somehow disciplining my eyes-

I wonder if by intentionally training my eyes to look for some things and turn away from others I can somehow deepen the connection between my own feeble heart and God's Great and Powerful Heart. A Heart bursting forth with Unfathomable Love and Goodness.

Maybe it's not too far fetched to say

Blessed are those who Look for God- For they shall become Pure in Heart and shall see God.

Hebrews 12 (Excerpts) Let us throw off what hinders and the sin that so easily entangles......... Let us fix our eyes on Jesus........so that we do not grow weary and lose heart.

Holy Spirit help me- help me to lead my heart after You. Empower me to fix my gaze upon Jesus. Speak to me- speak words of truth and give me ears to hear and a will to obey. Father Thank You for Your great mercy and patience with me. Thank You the strength and desire You give me to fix my eyes on the Author and Finisher of my salvation. Lord, I will do my best to keep my focus on You.

Amen

What Happened?

It was such a sad and disturbing sight- As I did my weekly ride with my buddies along the Canal Tow Path Saturday Morning we came upon something that has etched itself into my mind- an image that I may never forget. Coming toward us were 2 women- they were pushing a baby stroller- One of those heavy duty strollers that joggers use to push their children in when they go for a run. As we came closer to the women I began to make out what was in the stroller- It was........ well it was just wrong. In this stroller was what must have once been a beautiful regal animal- Full of strength and life and fierceness........ Yes an animal that had once commanded respect as it was approached- Now reduced to a Caricature of it's former self- something laughable. In the stroller being pushed along by 2 well meaning women was a Bulldog. Grand and Powerful at one time- Now the only thing missing was a little bonnett and bow.

What Happened? What happened that reduced this incredible awe- inspiring Beast to being pushed along in a baby stroller?

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image- Male and Female He created them.

Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field.....

Genesis 3:23 So the Lord banished man from the Garden.......

What Happened to us- Us who were once declared to be made in the image of God. Reduced to sweating and groveling for whatever scraps of pleasure we can manage. What happened- How did it all go so wrong?

Romans 5:6 You see at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.......

Hope abides- We can yet be what we were made to be!

Romans 5:18 The result of the one trespass was condemnation........the Result of His one act of Righteousness was justification and Life.

Galatians 5 "It is for freedom Christ has set us Free!"

Can we go back? Can we reverse this aberration of the Lives we were meant for?

Oh Yes!

Thanks be to God who through our Lord Jesus Christ redeemed us from the clownishness of being pushed along in a baby carriage. Thanks be to God who has raised His Son from death to Life and who raises us to Life along with Him. Thanks be to God that He is restoring us as Sons and Daughters of a Great King- Fierce and Strong and Beautiful and Meek.

Let us then press forward to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus has taken hold of us.

Let us put aside the Caricatures of Men and Women we have become and rise up to Life!

Father God, Lord Jesus, King Jesus, Holy Spirit- Thank You for Restoration and Redemption. Thank You for not laughing at us- for not casting us aside, but instead reviving us to the Life You made us for. Spirit of the Living God move in me today to live as a son of the Most High King. Move in me to go forward boldly with Love and Grace and Healing that come from You so that Your Great Kingdom become a reality even in this fallen world.

Amen

What you see is what you get-Really!

2003- Family Picture Day at Church- You know- the time when everyone comes in to have pictures taken for the church directory. I look back at that picture now- the smiles- our Sunday best clothes- Our closeness as we huddled together to capture the memory of............... I was running late and driving like a fool. The woman in front of me began to inch forward as the light turned green, but came to a sudden stop when she saw an ambulance out of the corner of her eye. Me- I was in such a hurry- I had jumped right up on her as she pulled away- when she stopped- I couldn't................ Crunch........... I can't believe this I thought to myself- what idiot starts and then stops suddenly as they pull away at a Green light? Julie (my wife) was spitting mad. By the time I got to the church with news of my wreck, we had missed our appointment and had to go to the end of the line. On top of that, she and my then 13 year old Rebecca were at war over how to dress for the Family Church picture. Matthew didn't help matters- As a typical 9 year old he wasn't exactly a paragon of patience as he relentlessly asked over and over and over, "How much longer Mom- how much longer?"

So what was Real?

The idyllic posed family portrait of beautiful people who have it all together

or

The boiling cauldron of anger and frustration underneath the smiles?

I suppose there is a bit of reality- of Truth- in both.

I look back now, I do see 4 broken people and I do know the back story, but even in that brokenness we were-we are- a family.

If nothing else- at least the pose shows a Love for each other.

It is a Love that binds our hearts together even in the boiling cauldron.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all else, Love each other deeply, for Love covers a multitude of sin

In truth, the whole episode pushes me to think about what Love really is.

We certainly had to find our way past the notion of love being a feeling.

None of us felt particularly loving about each other at that point.

Some might say we were just posing for the camera-

Propogating a lie- trying to cover up our ugliness.

Maybe there was a bit of that for the outside world.

Maybe there was a bit of posing going on-

But with each other- No Way!

None of us tried to hide our frustration with each other.

None of us lived in the illusion that we had it all together.

So what about this deep Love that covers a multitude of sin?

In a way I think the picture is a real expression of it.

At it's core, this smiling, happy looking picture is the reality of us-

Our Family- choosing to set aside our brokeness-

Our anger and ill tempers with each other-

Setting all that aside- for just a moment- to say,

"Hey, I know you're screwed up-

I know you're apt to make my life a little difficult-

I know all that- but I am not going anywhere."

"I'm in this picture and I choose to Love you all."

Lord Jesus, Thank You for our family- Our messed up broken family. Thank You that You have empowered us with Love that covers a multitude of sin. Father work out Your Great Heart for us- through us- in all our days together and apart.

Amen

On Cell Phones, Practicality and Pride

Vacation- Beach Time with family- This weekend specifically with my wife's family. Now, I will tell you close quarters for extended periods of time with anyone can be difficult-but there is real potential for fireworks when you're talking about In-Laws. All that being said- honestly- for the most part I really do enjoy these folks. They are a conglomeration of humanity-People who I am not really sure would ever get together other than the fact that they are bound by blood. Actually it's more than that- they are bound by a committment to each other that goes beyond shared interests. Even in the midst of their differences they really do love each other.

Maybe that's the reason God gives us these blood ties to people we might otherwise never have much to do with. It is a great opportunity to come out of ourselves and share life. Maybe family is where we are supposed to learn to do that.

At any rate, I'm not quite sure where this comes from, but there is scarcely a time when I am in the presence my dear, sweet Sister-in-Law (the one from Memphis in case you read this) that she doesn't ask me if I have gotten around to getting a cell phone yet. I truely believe the dear woman is convinced that some dark, moonless night- out on a cold and lonely road- my car is going to breathe it's last- And there I will be- stranded- lost forever in the clutches of- you guessed it- The Psycho Dentist Monster(Check June 18 blog). I can not tell you all how many strange looks I get when my friends or people I meet for the first time ask me for my cell number and I announce- Uh......... sorry- I haven't moved into the 20th (or is it the 21st) century yet.

"Oh no- you poor man- how do you survive?

What will you do if................"

Honestly, these good hearted folks have me wondering- What's wrong with me? Why have I not caved in? Why have I not joined modern civilization with all it's wonderful convenience and marvelous communication capability? I wish I had a good answer................. As I think about it- I suppose the truth is I might just be too cheap. In fact, I think it just might be a combination of the curse of Male Pride and Generational Poverty all wrapped into one. Let me explain- In my upbringing all purchases were examined from one major perspective- Do we really need this thing? You have to understand- We did not have money to spend on things that were not really, I mean really, really, really needed. Now combine that with my Male Ego constantly creeping in to say, "Charles, you can't let them know you need anything- you can't ask for help- that will just expose how weak you truely are". I know, I know- It's incredibly stupid and really messed up, but in those classic words of today's culture..............."It is what it is". I do think I am getting better

1 John 3:1 "How great is the Love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called Children of God"

It's strange- all of this reminds me of the episode in Mark 14 with Jesus being anointed by the woman at Bethany. You remember- Jesus is having dinner with his disciples and some religious types and in comes this woman- This woman who procedes to break a very expensive bottle of perfume- and in an extravagant display of love and humility she uses the perfume to anoint Jesus- pouring it out on Him to honor Him before the crucifixion. All those around Him are caught up in a tizzy saying things like,"Why do You allow such waste- We could have fed the poor for an entire year with the money that perfume brought". Ah, but this woman- this woman who had no thought of practicality at the time- Her only thought was Love- Love for the Man who had saved her- The One who had lifted her out of hopelessness and judgement- It was pure Love on lavish display with nary a thought of what was practical.

Lord Jesus, Father God, Friend Jesus, Holy Spirit- make me like this woman- So capture and captivate my heart with Love for You and the people you bring my way that I simply forget what is practical- just for a moment- So that I am able to set aside pride- just for a moment- and then another and then another................

Move powerfully in me to pour out the Love that You have poured in-

Help me to pour it out wrecklessly- so that all the world may see Your Life and Your Love.

Amen

On Seeing Jesus

I looked at Julie in amazement as the words tumbled from my mouth, "Are you kidding me?" I asked- "Did you really get me a Dentist appointment for 7:00 o'clock in the morning?". I really do love my wife, but this is pushing the limits! Okay- so upon arriving right on time- you got it- 7:00 stinking a.m.- a nice enough lady (Elizabeth) led me to my doom- I mean room. As I sit, I can't help but notice an instrument tray to my left filled with what looks like all sorts of torture devices. There were hook- like instruments and drills and well other shiny sterile looking metal things that might............. well let's leave all that to your imagination. Guys, I am not sure if it's been done, but a Psycho/Slasher movie with a Dentist in the starring role could be a real money-maker. Come to think of it- wasn't there a movie called the "Little Shop of Horrors" back in the 50's? As I sat back in the chair - Elizabeth- her face covered with a surgical mask- like I would imagine any good Psycho-Dentist's assistant would be-approaches with one of her "instruments". On the radio- What is playing, but the Cat Stevens song- MoonShadow. In the background-just above the sound of the drilling from the next room- I can hear those classic words,

" I'm being followed by a moon shadow- moon shadow, moon shadow- And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth north and south"!

God really does have a sense of humor doesn't He? However, when I pointed out the lyric to Elizabeth, for some reason she was not amused. Oh yes, there is one other thing I noticed as Elizabeth went about her business- Sitting in the window where a flood of light poured into the room was one of those word puzzle thingys- you know the kind of thing that if you look at it one way it appears as jibberish, but

If you focus your eyes just so- you can make out a word-

"Jesus" is what it said.

Isn't it amazing the places He shows up if we can just get our focus right?

I am reminded of the C.S. Lewis children's book "Prince Caspian". There is a scene in the book where the children think they see Aslan (the Christ figure) in the distant fog. Oh, but it couldn't really be Him- they convince themselves- as they go their own way- Only to get in all sorts of trouble. As they decide to turn and head back toward Aslan- they catch a glimpse of Him once again. He is beckoning them to follow.

Still not able to really make Him out in the mists, they decide by faith to follow anyway. The funny thing is-

Every step they take in following by faith- Aslan becomes more clear-

More real- until finally He is right there.

He was right there all along- just like He is right here with us- even in a Dentist Office at 7:00a.m.- All it takes is the right focus to see Him-

Looking through the eyes of Faith.

Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Lord Jesus I will look for You today. Holy Spirit help my vision to be clear- my focus right- and as I see my Jesus- fill me up with the Faith and Courage I so desperately need to follow Him- even as He goes places that I would not

Amen

Jesus in the Flesh

I am not really sure where it came from, but when I was about 7 years old or so I started eating. I wonder now if it was to fill the void of losing my Daddy? Eddie Lee Welch' s suffering from cancer came to an end in December 1966 just before I was about to turn 7 years old. Edward Charles Welch's suffering from loneliness began around the end of December 1966. I loved my Daddy the best any "know nothing about Love" 6 year old boy could. I suppose what I did know was what it felt like to be loved by a Father- but now that was gone. Fast forward to 1972- now 12 years old, 5 foot 2 inches tall and 175 pounds of self loathing, loneliness. Appearing happy, I suppose- but disconnected from what mattered most in a twelve year old boy's world -the acceptance of other kids my age who seemed to have it all together. They didn't want me- especially not the boys who were on their way to manhood- strong and able. Fat, incapable athletically, rejected by girls, picked last for anything that even hinted of manliness- I had gone to food for comfort. I had gone to other things as well. A boy has to find relief somewhere from the pain of loneliness, rejection and isolation. The enemy had a field day- Attempting to steal away any real hope for happiness or freedom. I did start going to church regularly for the first time around this time. My sister and her husband took me. The people seemed nice enough at first and the more I heard about this Jesus character the more intrigued I became. He was different- He would never make fun of me- He would never laugh at me- He would never have left me to be picked last- He could even save me from my sins-Yep this Jesus guy was pretty awesome. Hey- during that time I even walked the aisle- I got saved and baptised. I remember going to Sunday School- Witnessing- Leaving Bible Tracts in magazines at the drug store- Finally my life seemed to have a bit of value to it-

At least Jesus cared about me- I have never doubted that.

His people however- you know the ones who were nice enough in the beginning- Somehow they turned out to be not much different from anyone else. It's really hard for a kid to handle that. Christians are supposed to be different- Like Jesus. Oh I held on to my Saviour- But the Abundant Life- The sense of being Loved and wanted by His people- That seemed to slowly fade out of my life- Oh there were respites of happiness, and I did learn to use what I had going for me- my being kind of smart- to at least have some friends, but still the loneliness lingered.

Loneliness- That sense that no one really cares- no one is interested in sharing life with you. That sense of being disconnected and left out of all you want to be a part of. There is nothing more miserable.

Fast forward to 1976- High School- God is so Faithful- He really never will leave you or forsake you. In all my striving for Love and acceptance I really never had doubted Jesus- I just wished He would send someone to show me His Love- I needed to feel it in a hug or a smile- I needed it to come in flesh and blood reality. It's what we all need- It's how we were built- For Community.

John 1:14 "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us"

Oh how those words became reality in my life in 1976 through a man named Danny Parker. Danny was the Young Life Leader for my High School- For me he became the Hands and Feet of Christ- sent by God Himself to be the father I had lost all those many years before.

God had saved my life yet again. He had sent a man who truly loved Jesus and that love overflowed and spilt out of his life to me as sure as the Blood of Christ Himself has been spilt for me.

Father in Heaven, Lord Jesus, Friend Jesus, Precious Holy Spirit- Fill me up with Your Love the way You filled this man You sent my way all those years ago. Fill me so that I overflow to the people You bring my way- those who are lonely and hurting and feel the weight of the world and the enemy himself coming down on them. Make me an encouragement- Forgive me where I pass over the forgotten and give me Your Great Heart of compassion for the broken. Do all this in me I pray in the Wonderful Name of Jesus.

Amen

God is Beyond Me

If God had wanted me to have a Systematic Theology why would He have not given me one? Instead I have His Word- filled with Stories and Poetry and History and Ideas that are in constant tension with one another.

I love theology- this idea that I can learn more about God- that He has revealed Himself- in His Creation- In His Word- In making us in His Image and all the nuances of human relationships- In the Sacraments and most of all in Jesus. I love that God wants a relationship with me and has made Himself knowable and available.

I have come to abhor the idea of Systematic Theology. There was a point in my life where I thought it would be great to have God all figured out- to have Him become a predictable entity in my life that followed a certain set of rules all the time. I think in my own efforts to understand God- to get a handle on Him- What I was really trying to do was contain and control Him. If I could understand His rules- I could play the game in such a way that I could win- I could get what I want. I asked a good friend recently how many different systematic theologies he thought there might be- His answer- Not sure, but many upon many. So then, which one is right? Which one of these systems has been able to correctly corral God and predict His Ways? In the realm of Christianity how many versions of the rules do you think there might be? Please don't get me wrong- I am not talking here about ultra liberal ideas that deny the diety of Christ, but instead I am talking about people and groups who hold to the core beliefs- God is Sovereign- God created all that is- Men are in need of a Saviour- Jesus, the God/Man came and died for the sins of men- Jesus literally overcame death and resurrected - Upon our calling out to Jesus in Faith He can give us the abundant/eternal life that was lost in our rebellion. Even among those who hold to these core teachings there are so many disagreements in their systematic theologies that it is truly mind boggling how the Faith has survived these 2000 plus years- Yet at the same time- God will not be thwarted- His purposes will not be lost in my own attempts to cage Him- to make Him fit my agenda- to win the game- to satisfy my need to control things.

Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My Ways declares the Lord. As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are My Ways higher than your ways and My Thoughts than your thoughts."

Father in Heaven- I pray You give me insight into Your Ways and Thoughts- I pray You lead me in the Way of Wisdom. Father I give You thanks that You are beyond me and my limited understanding in so many ways. I give You thanks that ultimately You are Sovereign and Good and Loving. I give You thanks for Jesus- Your express image for me to see- I give You thanks for Your Holy Spirit and Your Word to Lead me in all Your Ways. Move in my heart Lord God Almighty for one agenda only- to grow in my Love for You and the ability to live that out in this foreign land.

Following Dad can be Dangerous!

That phrase has stuck with me for a couple of days now and I have wondered a bit about why I am so apt to feel that following Jesus is dangerous. Is it that I am not sure of the way He is taking me- Maybe I think I see a better way- Is it that I have never been where He is taking me- Is it that I have my own destinations in mind- Maybe it's because I am not certain He can he really get me where I want to go- Maybe it's because it doesn't feel like He's making the path easier- Maybe it's because I have crashed so many times before- Maybe it's because I am looking at where the rest of the Peloton is going. John 21:21-22 "What about him Lord?" Peter asked. Jesus answered," What is his life to you- You must follow Me." John 14:5-6 Lord we don't know where You are going, so how can we know the way? Jesus answered, " I am the way" John 10:4 The Shepherd's sheep follow Him because they know His voice. Matthew 8:18-22 A teacher of the Law said, " I will follow You wherever You go." Jesus answered, "Foxes have holes and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His Head." Another said, "Let me go bury my father." Jesus answered, "Let the dead bury their own dead- you follow Me." John 11: 16 Thomas said, " Let us also go (follow him to Judea) that we may die with Him." In the end following means giving up control- which is fine as long as I am in agreement with the way He is leading- Ah, but that is not really giving up control is it? The central question in Discipleship (following) comes down to this- Do I believe so strongly in the one I am following that I will go after Him forsaking all others- including my self? That is the rub- I often think I know a better way. Luke 9:23 Jesus said, "If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." The call is to set my way aside- to commit to Jesus as the Way of Life- Daily- minute by minute staying fixed on Him. Indeed a dangerous thing in this world where happiness is measured in security and bank accounts. Lord Jesus, I do believe- I will follow You- help me overcome my unbelief. Become so real in my life- as my Way of Life- that I only see you. Like You did for Peter, Lord- when he took his eyes off You and began to sink in the waves- Reach down and take hold of me when I begin to drown in my own doubts. Have mercy on me Jesus. Holy Spirit fill me with Your strength to follow My Lord Jesus. Increase my Faith in this dangerous discipleship. Amen

Birthdays (For Julie)

Happy Birthday! It is amazing to think that just those few short years ago you were simply a desire in your Mom and Dad's hearts. Ah, but take a simple yet beautiful desire........ Add a bit of Love.......... and VOILA....... You have it- One of the most wonderful lives to ever come into existence! And yet...... even before all that.............. God knew you- He purposed you - He had you in mind as a demonstration of who He is-

In you He has shown forth a bit His Glory-

His Grace- His Character- Yes even His Love and Goodness.

You have indeed been "Fearfully and Wonderfully" made. I am so glad God imagined you. John 1:12-13 Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His Name, He gave the right to become children of God- Children born not of natural descent nor human decision nor a husbands will- but born of God. Another Birthday! Born Again! Born of God- His Life infused into our frailty. His substance- Even the Life of Jesus- Yes the amazing, wonderful, wild, extravagant Life and Love of Jesus birthed in us. I see it in you- I see it in people all around- even in this broken world. Maybe especially in this broken world. Thank You Father in Heaven that You have purposed us. Thank You for finding us when we were lost- for bringing us home to Yourself. Thank You for our Rebirth into Yourself. Thank You especially for Julie- the one You have made for me- The one You have brought me into union with. Thank You that we have received You. Help us to believe in Your Name more and more everyday. Help us all to live out being born of You. Amen

Following

What a great day to ride! Sure it was about 90 degrees and syrupy humid- but we were gliding down the Greenway- A paved path on the river draped with a canopy of lush green trees that provide bountiful shade for anyone wanting to get outside for a bit of exercise- even in the hotter parts of the day. Combine that with coolnes of the air rushing across my face as I pedalled easily along the way-and the icing on the cake- I was sharing the experience my daughter Rebecca.

It was almost perfect!

This particular day I thought it might be a good idea to teach Rebecca a little about drafting. The idea was she would fall in behind me about 6 inches off the back of my wheel. This would make her ride a little easier, as I broke through the wind resistance and she could hide in my slipstream. There are 2 rules for drafting that must be minded if the venture is to be successful for the person following. Stay as close as possible. If contact is lost the benefit of the leader's work is lost. Keep an intense focus on the rear wheel of the person you are following. If you become distracted you can easily run right up on the leader and take a tumble. Looking back now, the focus required may have been too much to ask of a 13 year old. Okay- so you guessed it- something else did catch my beautiful daughter's eye and in just that moment of distraction she ran right up on my rear wheel and down she went- hard. All I know was I heard the terrible sound of crashing metal on pavement and a scream of pain I never want to hear again. A beautiful day together gone terribly wrong.

Unfortunately, that was the beginning of the end of our bike riding together.

Following Dad can be dangerous.

Matthew 4:19 "Come, Follow Me" Jesus said.

Galatians 5:25 " Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit".

I suspect following Jesus is alot like drafting behind the perfect pace setter. He never gets tired. He always knows the perfect pace. He clears the way for me. He stops for a drink at just the right time. He knows the best way to go. All I have to do is follow closely and keep my focus on Him. Lose contact and all of a sudden the way becomes much more difficult. Lose focus and I will go down hard. Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit of the Living God, Father in Heaven- Today I will follow closely- Today I will keep my focus on You. Be powerful in me to do these things- Enable me- rise up in me for all You have in mind for me today. Father help me to learn from my past crashes- to fix my eyes on You To trust You with my way- no matter what distractions might come. Amen

God Teaches in the Strangest Ways

As we pulled into the gas station to ask directions, my wife Julie noticed a guy pumping gas and prompted me- "Ask him- he looks like he might know his way around." About the same time I noticed another fellow half shuffling-half limping across the parking lot- an average looking guy in somewhat tattered clothes and physically struggling as he made his way.

I will call him lesser man.

As I turned my attention to the guy pumping gas I began to take notice that he was well dressed and obviously affluent- based on the shiny new black BMW he was filling with gas. Beyond the appearance of wealth, this guy was also above average height and quite fit- I would guess a former athlete based on his build. Then there was his hair- it was...... well in a word........ perfect- Styled and profiled like he was maybe about to meet a lady friend. It was all topped off with the dark tan of someone who most likely was able to spend a fair amount of time on the golf course.

This was a guy who at least looked like he had it all together.

I will call him perfect man.

Honestly, I am not really sure where it came from, but immediately something rose up in me to say- "You can't ask perfect man- go ask the guy you saw stumbling across the parking lot". It was almost like a sense of fear....... or intimidation........or something ........ I am not sure what- but it grabbed my attention. I could not believe I was having such a goofy reaction to the prospect of asking some guy for directions. Now mind you- all this happened in a matter of seconds, but I have pondered it now for a couple of days- asking God to show me what it was all about.

Could it have been about Pride?

Pride is a strange sort of thing- especially when attacked by our enemy- the Evil One. It is as if he knows- that somewhere deep inside me there is this sense of inadequacy- maybe insecurity- that says- Charles, you don't measure up- you don't have what it takes- you're not a real man- not like that guy- not like perfect man.

You know you better hide it too.

Don't let anybody know you really don't have it all together-

Especially not perfect man-

Asking him for anything will expose you for the weakling you really are.

Oh I don't mind going to lesser man-

He is more like me- and deep inside me something says-

You know you have it more together than lesser man-

You don't need his approval- he is no threat-

In fact it will make him feel better that he can help someone of my stature.

Lies, Lies, Lies- Get away from me with your Lies!

Truth- I don't have it all together- but neither does perfect man.

But that is okay- It is okay-No- It is better than okay-

It is a good thing to let go of my pride- the facade of my own perfection.

Truth- There is no real lesser man than me- I am clearly a man in deep need-

In deep need of my Saviour

Truth- There is one Perfect Man- and He takes me right where I am. He offers me Life and Freedom from my own pride that would isolate and destroy me.

Jesus, my lord Jesus, Please continually come to life in me. Speak words of Truth to me. Moment by moment help me to see my own worth and value in You. Help me to see all men from the standpoint of their worth and adequacy in You. Help me to live out of my adequacy in You. Free me from the lies that would steal the life You have won for me. All Praise be to You Lord Jesus for what You are doing in me- for Your life and Love and Power in me. Amen

Some Thoughts on Holiness

Holiness.........Set Apart for God- for His Purposes. Holiness is not so much about do this and don't do that as it is about the reality that I am not made for this world. I am a stranger here- this is not my home. The more I look to this world for my happiness the more frustrated I am destined to become. God's call to me for Holiness is out of His Love for me. God's call to Holiness is a call to Wholeness- To Life in Him Jesus said, "I am the Vine, you are the branches- remain in Me- Apart from Me you can do nothing. Remain in Me and you will bear much fruit" Holiness is abiding in Christ. It is not following a set of rules. Following rules can not bring life. Jesus offers Life- Full, Whole, Complete Life. 1 Peter 1:13-19 Excerpts Prepare your minds for action.... Set your Hope fully on the Grace given as Jesus is revealed...... As He who called you is Holy, be Holy in all you do......... Be Holy because I am Holy....... Live your Lives as strangers here in reverent fear....... For you know your redemption did not come from the things this world considers precious, but from the Precious Blood of Christ...... A Lamb without blemish or defect (Set apart fully for God's Purpose of Love and Redemption) Living in this world-I need to be reminded of what is real. Holiness is a call to that- what is real- to what is true. Holiness is about a focus on what has substance. Holiness is not achieved by following a set of rules. Holiness is seen in a Life consumed with Christ. Holiness is not as much about separation from as separation to. Set your Hope fully on Grace in Christ. I think this might be the key to personal Holiness- That is- setting aside all my efforts to separate from the the World and begin to focus on separating myself unto God- Fixing my eyes on the Holy One- Jesus Himself. Don't you just love Jesus- The way He Lived- His Compassion- His Strength- His Courage- His Goodness. Perfect Holiness- Perfect Love. In the end- Holiness means being like Jesus. Father God, move in me today to be Holy- to be like Jesus more and more- to do the things He did- To live out His Life in my world. Make me Holy. Amen

Satisfaction

What Satisfies You? Really........... Deeply............ From the top of your head to the tips of your toes? Is there anything that fills you to the point of Wholeness? What about a good meal ? A cool drink on a hot day? Going downhill on a bicycle really fast? Holding the one you love close? The sense of a job well done? The smiles of your children on Christmas morning? Making the game winning shot? An aced test? The richness of your favorite music as you lie on a sandy beach? John 4:13-14 Jesus answered,"Everyone who drinks this world's water- even it's best water- will thirst again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst again. Indeed the water I give you will become a Spring of Water- Welling up to Eternal Life." Outrageous- can it really be true? Can this Jesus really surpass even the finest moments in this life? Can He bring me a sense of wholeness that never ends. Will He give me the good thing that can never be too much of a good thing? Oh, yes- I believe He can and He will and He does........ If I will just entrust my life to Him. Lose myself in Him. Delight in Him. Dissappear into His life- His Purposes- His Ways. John 14:6 Jesus said, "Iam the way, the Truth and the Life." Jesus- my Lord Jesus, my Friend Jesus- Rise up in me- Consume me- Be my one great worthy magnificent obsession- Fill me with Yourself- Your Character- Your Heart of Love for the Father- Your Heart of Love for people. Today and everyday. Amen

Got any Bites?

I can not tell you how badly I wanted to go fishing......... but, alas no- my older brother would have none of it- no matter how much I pleaded. You see I was 5 years old and he was 14. I would hear from him and others all the time about how much fun it was to "hang the big one" - To fight him in until you had your prize- a fat slick cat fish or a monster carp that could get as big as.......well really big. The saddest part of it all was the fishing hole was so close- we lived about 100 yards or so from the Augusta Canal in my "growing up" years- a virtual mecca of fish, muskrats, crawdads and moccasins- but it was off limits to me. Mama always said a little boy could get hurt up there. I know my teenaged brothers were always secretly ecstatic when they could escape a little 5 year old snot nosed pest and get about the adventure of the great outdoors. Ahhhh, but my brother William- Simply leaving me home wasn't enough for him- No he had his own special ways of tormenting a little brother who took away his prized " baby of the family" status. You see William was a trickster, and I was on the wrong end of one of his all- time best. This particular beautiful Summer day he had cooked up a "mess of dough balls" the night before and talked incessantly about the Ji- Mongous Carp he was going to catch with his special recipe. Oh, but he felt sorry for me- you know that I had to stay home because Mama thought it was so dangerous- but he could fix all that- He had a plan- I was going to get to fish today!

Yessssss!!!!

Imagine my surprise when William unveiled his plan by taking me to the back of our little 4 room house to the bath room. Rod and reel in hand and a small bag of dough balls- he proceeded to bait up the hook and drop it right down into the toilet bowl- He then let out a section of line and you guessed it - Flushed the toilet. Well......... yes the bait and line dissappeared..... and yes as he explained- we were really only a short ways from the canal........ and of course our toilet flushes always emptied directly into the canal anyway - so what was the difference. According to William all I had to do was be patient and soon enough his wonderful dough ball would work it's magic. Who knows what I might be able to catch- just be patient he reminded me as he skipped out the front door on his way to his own fishing trip! I Corinthians 15:14 and 19 If Christ has not been raised our preaching is useless and so is your faith.......... If only for this life we have faith in Christ we are to be pitied more than all men. (or a little boy who thinks he will catch a fish from the toilet) Oh the wonder of it all- Christ has indeed been raised- the tomb is empty and I have His life in me. It is a life that unites me to my Father- My Creator- and brings me deep into the life I long for.

He was no trickster- He is a Truth Teller

Just ask Stephen as he is being stoned- Just ask Paul as he is being beaten and in chains under Roman Gaurd- Just ask John as he rots away on the Isle of Patmos- Just ask Mary as she comes to an empty tomb- Just ask Thomas as he feels the wounds- Just ask Peter as he hanged upside- down not counting himself worthy to share the fate of his Master

Just ask me- a little boy who never caught a fish that day, but who has felt the Love of a Saviour- Oh the sweet Love of Jesus poured into my broken heart. Life has never been the same.

Father in Heaven, Friend Jesus, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit- Three in One- Holy Triune God- Do not let me be jaded by the tricksters of this world. Please continue to show Yourself Faithful and True to all of us who place our Faith in You for the life we long for. Amen