The Nature of Sin

There has been this thought in my mind for as long as I can remember that Sin- at it's essence- is selfishness- self gratification- even self preservation. That is - preservation not just of the physical self, but the ego as well. I am beginning to wonder and maybe even change my view. Many a man has come to Christ out of a sense of self preservation. When I think of my own committment to Christ- at the heart of it was a longing for a better life- for Self to be in a better position or condition. Oh it had nothing to do with a fear of hell for me- in many ways I felt like I was living in hell already and was looking for a way out. So then- I can see how concern for self ( selfishness in a sense) can certainly lead a man to Christ. Committment to Christ at it's essence is a committment to self preservation and happiness. So then what is all this business in Matthew 16 about denying self and taking up my cross to follow Jesus? And a little farther on Jesus tells me the man who seeks to save his life will lose it, but the man who loses his life for My sake will find Life? I still believe self is at the heart of sin, but maybe not self preservation. Maybe sin at it's essence is more about self reliance and a lack of trust in God's Character. What I mean to say is, maybe a pursuit of happiness for self's sake is not a bad thing- but the problem comes when I begin to believe or act as if I believe I know better than God how to have the Joy I long for and He promises- or I begin to doubt His Love for me- or that He has my best interest in His Heart. Like those in the Garden- I listen to His great enemy and I choose to go my own way in the pursuit of happiness. I separate myself from God- I separate myself from my only source of Real Life and Joy thinking I know a better way- wanting to establish my own sovereignty over my life. In the end maybe sin is mostly about a lack of trust in God's Love for me and His Sovereignty- Some how thinking I can do better by following my own way. Holiness on the other hand is about truly trusting God as I make my way through this world and in this world. Jesus seems to be constantly challenging us to go against our common sense or at least what makes sense in this world and trust Him for our lives- our happiness- all our fulfillment. Go sell all you have, give to the poor and follow Me. If a man wants your coat- give him your shirt as well. Turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Tough words in this world. Words that demand me to take a stand one way or the other- Am I with Him or will I go my own way? He will not settle for a little religion. Lord Jesus, Almighty God, Holy Sprit- Three in One, Pour Your great Heart into my weak heart today and everyday for the courage toTrust You with my Life. Help me to have the courage to take hold of the Life that is Real Life when everything around me screams noooooo! Make me Pure in Heart Wholly devoted to You. Help me to see Your Faithfulness- Give me eyes to see Your goodness and Love for me. Give me ears to hear Your call to me and a Heart to obey. Amen